7 ‘What Were They Thinking’ Cake Designs

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It’s hard to say who’s truly at fault for these confectionary disasters. The person who baked and decorated them, or the person who ordered them and thought it’d be a good idea at the time. Needless to say, it was not a good idea. And we’re forever traumatized. Here are some of the worst:

 

 

  • WHAT IS THIS CAKE EVEN CELEBRATING?!

 

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It’s pretty obvious what the uhh… lower half of the cake is supposed to be. But what is that stuff on top of the cheeks?! What’s happening here, and why did anyone feel the need to celebrate this… event. Possibly the most unappetizing cake in existence. Well done.

 

  1. Another Inside Joke That Didn’t Need to Be Immortalized on a Cake

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For the love of all that is good in this world: keep your inside jokes confined to dumb conversations with your friends, and keep them off of our cakes. It’s a brave person that would request and ingest a slice of this cake.

 

  1. Not Quite the ‘Frozen’ Cake Your Child Requested

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The cute little snowman character from the Disney movie, ‘Frozen,’ is one of the most frequently-requested cake designs. This is much less cute, and a lot more nightmare-inducing. This snowman doesn’t want to hug you. He wants to eat your soul and take your eyes for his own.

 

  1. M-I-C! K-E-Y! Holy F-*-*-*!

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Those lips. Those eyes. Those ears. Oh, god… those ears. It’s a Mouseketeer monster from hell. Order from this bakery if you prefer your small children scarred for life. One thing’s for sure… they’ll stop begging to go to Disneyland after they receive this cake for their birthday.

 

  1. There’s Not a Single Thing Ok About This Cake

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From the horrifyingly misplaced sentiment, to the too-festive age-declaring candles; the truly upsetting FETUS DECORATION, to the vaguely vagina-esque flowers that border the whole travesty… this cake should be burned. Burn it now.

 

  1. Happy Stillbirth!

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This is clearly supposed to be celebrating the birth of a baby. Besides the obvious, there are two questions that we just can’t shake:

 

  1. THIS is a celebratory cake?!
  2. WHY IS THE BABY BLUE?! It absolutely looks dead.
  3. What’s it going to look like when you CUT INTO THE CAKE?! Please let it not be red velvet or strawberry filled.

 

No. No no no. This cake was not a good idea.

 

  1. Too Many Birth Cakes

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The world may never understand why so many people feel the need to request (and make) cakes depicting birth. They think it’s hilarious. How wrong they are. Out of all the horrific and graphic birth cakes, this one may take the cake; pun absolutely intended. Where to start…

 

Those stretch marks look like geological fissures, and make us feel a bit faint. The vagina (which genitalia really never be made out of frosting) looks pasted on, and you know someone was paid to paint on those pubes. Also, that baby is coming out breech, and we can’t be the only one who’s freaked out by that. PUT AWAY THAT THUMBS UP, YOU DEVIL BABY.

 

Mark Katz: The Political Comedian Used by Even President Clinton

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President Clinton is one of the most loved government officials of all time. In 1993, he and his administration got into a jam and needed some help. The President’s first hundred days had not had a good outcome for him or his administration. There were issues with his stance on gays employed in the military, the raid on Branch Davidian and someone ill-adviced his haircut, which became the talk of the town. Of course, the press office was acting as if everything was OK, but the administration was aware that this was not the case.

The Dinner

There was going to be an upcoming dinner for the White House Correspondent Association and President Clinton was going to have to face an almost unreceptive crowd head on. So what does the administration do? They call on Mark Katz. Who is Mark Katz? He is a popular political comedian writer. He had to give the President some jokes to offset the chilliness that would have been in the room. Did the tactic work? Yes it did!

The Opening Joke

President Clinton was able to disarm the audience in his opening statement, pulling a joke on the previous administration. He indicated that President Harrison was dead within sixty eight days of his administration, but got revived by hooking up with insiders on the Beltway and with one hundred days into his administration, President Clinton said he did not have to face the same death and so Beltway Insiders were out of luck.

The Problem Solver

While Mark Katz is no Hercules or even a popular comedian like Letterman, he is known for being a quiet genius in his own right. He is a one man crew, heading up the Soundbite Institute as a creative think tank. For almost twenty years, he has rescued top politicians and corporate leaders, using his comedic experience and talent to get them off the hook. This included President Clinton, Jeff Bewkes from Time Warner, Michael Bloomberg and Tom Freston, former Viacom CEO. Mark Katz does not see himself as a comedic writer, but a problem solver. He indicates, when interviewed, that most of the phone calls that he receives are from people needing help with jokes for their presentation or to face a somewhat hostile audience. Katz understands that humor can break the silence and hostility in a room and he has perfected his gift, making it available to all those who need it and it is mostly top executives and government officials that call on him. Katz is a master at giving one-liners and has a deep care for hearing people laugh.

The Bottom Line

President Clinton hired the comedic writer and made him a part of the administration, having him work on a freelance basis. Katz prepared self-directed jokes that achieved its purpose, relieving tension in a room where the elephant was dominant. He saw humor as opening multiple possibilities for a speaker. During the presidency of Jefferson Clinton, Katz had a chance to be instrumental in numerous speeches where humor was the focal point. He will always be remembered for rescuing the president in his first one hundred days in office.

 

You Won’t Believe the Ways You Can Get Access to Money on the Internet

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Everybody wants the opportunity to make a little bit of extra cash, and you would be shocked at all the additional ways you can come across extra money through the internet. Of course there are other ways to get money through online resources. Getting  online registration loans are easy and only take minutes to apply. Don’t want to go the loan route, how about freelance writing, selling your items on craigslist, or creating and promoting a training program? These are just some of the other options available for you to access money through the internet.

 

What is freelance writing?

Do you enjoy writing, or rather, are you actually good at it? You can make fast money on the internet through several online freelance platforms. Popular websites include Freelancer.com and Guru.com. In order to see the list of writing jobs that are available, all you have to do is create a free account. You can develop your profile and provide samples of previous work. These websites work like an auction, where you place a bid for a proposed freelance writing job. There are a number of different type of writing jobs available including article writing, copywriting, or technical writing. Each type of job you bid on will pay different, but you can expect to make between $5-10 per 500 word article that you complete (and of course there are those who pay more for higher quality work).

 

Make money through Craigslist

Now although this one isn’t 100% completely through the internet, Craigslist’s webpage is how you get started. If you enjoy fixing up old items or just have personal items you no longer need, then try selling them on Craigslist. There are so many people out there looking for quality used items.  In order to be successful on Craigslist, make sure you are providing a reasonable price for the item you are trying to sell. Nobody is going to want to pay full price for an item that was clearly used. This is an easy way to earn extra cash quickly.

 

Create your own training program on Udemy

Do you enjoy teaching on a topic you are passionate about? Well you can combine this love with the internet to make money by developing an online course. One of the most popular websites to begin the process is Udemy. The average instructor of a successful Udemy course brings in about $7,000 throughout the time that they promote the course. You have to start at the bottom and work your way to a large following. What is great about Udemy is that you can create a course on any topic imaginable. Of course it is best if you have some knowledge about e-learning, but can still be successful (and take a free Udemy e-learning course) without any prior knowledge. There are a variety of courses, and each course charges a different amount to students who wish to take that course. You make money through the number of people who take your course. If you wish to promote the course yourself, then you will get 100% of the profits, but if you want Udemy to help out, you will make 50%. Not a bad deal when you look at the potential a lot of the courses on the website have!

Now that you know some of the easy ways to access money through the internet, get on and find something that works for you!

 

Will Ferrell Talks About His Body Insecurities

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Remember that time in Old School where you see the entirety of Will Ferrell’s unclothed backside? How about the time in Talladega Nights when he runs away in just his underwear? How about him in SNL’s famed Patriotic G-String sketch? If you’re even remotely familiar with the actor, you know that his performances aren’t hindered by hang-ups about his body.

 

That’s why his candor on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee is so surprising. For the sixth episode of the seventh season, Ferrell sits down with show creator Jerry Seinfeld (in a bright blue 1970 Plymouth Road Runner SuperBird) and gets blunt when just moments in he is asked how much he weighs.

 

Ferrell had no problem sharing his size with Seinfeld, giving an original answer of 218 lbs and later revising it to around the 220 mark, but in the process he admits that he absolutely thinks about his weight, his weight loss goals, and how adding regular workouts to his life haven’t had quite the impact he hoped for, which is perhaps the most relatable thing in the world to anyone who has gone through any real weight loss effort.

 

Ferrell was funny as always, but hidden underneath the humor were insecurities we could all understand. He admitted to Seinfeld that he would like to look a bit better shirtless, and who doesn’t want that? The quote “I have to work out just to look fat” is something every person who has ever stood in front of a gym mirror has had running through their head at some point or another.

 

Despite the segment regarding Ferrell’s body image only last a couple minutes, there are a few major truths hidden in it. First, no one is immune to body insecurity. Second, Will Ferrell is comedy gold, even when he is talking about one of the scariest things around – our perception of ourselves.

 

Third, perhaps most hidden and most important, is the idea that it’s not just women who are made to look critically at their bodies. While Ferrell makes no mention of discrepancies between the way the sexes are perceived in Hollywood, he serves as a real life example. Men aren’t necessarily put under the same microscope as women, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t put under one at all.

 

Men are every bit as likely as women to suffer from body image anxiety, and the complaints are often the same or similar across genders. With Ryans, both Reynolds and Gosling, running around without their shirts on and flaunting perfect six packs, celebrity body image envy is becoming as pervasive a trope for men, as well.

 

It’s not worth speculating what Ferrell intended from his comments about his body. He wasn’t taking a major social stand, he was just enjoying a cup of coffee and an honest conversation. It’s just nice to know that even the most seemingly secure have human concerns, too. Plus, if Will Ferrell can have these thoughts and still find the courage to bare all for national audiences, we can all look to him for inspiration next time we’re hesitant about taking our shirts off in front of the mirror.

The Ultimate Lazy Person’s Gift List

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Please. You know you want these for yourself. You’ll probably order them online to be delivered to you, and then you’ll quietly sulk about having to walk to the front door to go get the package containing the world’s best laziness accoutrements. THAT’S HOW LAZY YOU ARE. Own it. It’s a lifestyle.

 

 

 

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How many freaking bananas would you need to slice in a day in order to warrant the purchase of this piece of plastic?! Do you honestly know any lazy person that eats this healthy, anyway? Probably not. Put the banana slicer down and order some pizza, like a real American.

 

  1. Reading/Watching-TV-While-Laying-in-Bed Glasses

 

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The good news is: you’ll never have to lift your head to marathon Netflix in bed all day, again!

The bad news is: you’re single and you’ll probably stay that way forever. They’ll find your body weeks later… you’ll be wearing these glasses. You’ll come back as a very embarassed ghost.

 

  1. Self Stirring Mug

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Spoon… so heavy. Must… stir… beverage!

(Bonus lazy points if you purchase this mug with a wacky straw so that you don’t even have to lift the mug to your lazy face. Welcome to the future. It’s pretty cool here.)

 

  1. Dressy Sweatpants

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This is a true triumph for lazy people everywhere. All the appearance of pretending like you tried… but with none of that actual pesky “trying” nonsense.

 

  1. Hands-Free Wine Holder

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Don’t even act like you didn’t tear up a little bit when you saw this. This is what lazy dreams are made of. We truly live in a golden age. (Again with that straw thing, though… then we shall want for nothing.)

 

  1. Desk for Your Bed

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Finally. Now you can waste away in comfort. Ahhh. Feel those muscles atrophy. This is all you’ve ever wanted, and no one can shame you into sitting up to use your laptop. Go on with your bad, lazy self!

 

  1. Hog Wild Twirling Spaghetti Fork

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Let’s not ignore the fact that someone titled this magnificent contraption “Hog Wild.” That’s how excited they were about being this lazy. Let’s be real: we couldn’t agree more. But it’s a shame that the spaghetti-holding-capacity of the fork isn’t greater. C’mon. We shovel waaay too much pasta into our faces to be slowed down by such tiny bites. Still… snaps for taking care of that twirling problem for us. It was such a hassle.

 

  1. BABYMOP

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Let’s put that freeloadin’ baby to WORK! Hey. We’ve earned our laziness, kid. What have you done lately? Pooped your pants? ‘K cool go mop the floors, alright?

 

Mommy and Daddy are gonna kick back on the couch with a glass of wine, held hands-free by that new nifty wine-holding necklace thing. Speaking of…

 

  1. Pizza Pouch

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Like a mama kangaroo cradling her precious baby in her pouch, you, too can protect the one you truly love: pizza. Wear your pizza around your neck with pride. Keep it tucked away safe in case of pizza emergencies. This is a vital contribution to humanity, for which we are eternally grateful.

Funny Run-Ins with the Cops

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Some run-ins with the law can be hilarious. Even in some serious situation, the humor is still there. In many cases, these humorous acts are tied to intoxication, but some of them are not. Here are some that you may or may not find to be funny.

The Missing Tire

The police got a call at eight o’clock in the morning from an anonymous source on January 15, 2016 that there was an erratic motorist driving and that the vehicle had a heavy damage to the front end. The car was traveling eastbound and when the police tracked down the vehicle, it was discovered that the two headlights were inoperable and only three tires were functioning on the vehicle. The passenger side of the vehicle had its front tire missing and the car was practically driving on that particular rim. Once the vehicle came to a halt at the prompting of the police, it was noticed that the driver had dried blood on the right arm and blood was seen throughout the interior of the vehicle. The police officer noticed an obvious stench of alcohol on the woman’s breath as she spoke. The ambulance was called, but in the meantime, upon questioning, the woman told the police that the damage to her vehicle had occurred a long time ago – in fact from the summer before. As for the missing tire, she had lost the tire at one point during the summer. She tried to avoid any additional questions from the police and seemed agitated. The police placed the woman under arrest and took her to the hospital. She began to yell and scream once she got there, trying to get out of the handcuffs on her wrists. She refused to take the breathalyzer test. The police cited her for driving in an unsafe vehicle without one tire and without headlights on. She was also cited for driving with a suspended license and while she was intoxicated. However, what topped it all was the single tire that the woman said was missing from the car since the previous summer.

Red Chili Pepper

On January 6, 2016, a resident got home after a short stay out of town. When he got home he noticed twenty red chili peppers around the upstairs toilet in the bathroom. Only one person was in the home while he was away and that was the construction worker. When the officer interrogated the construction worker, he said that he had noticed the chili peppers, but considered that they had fallen from the plant that was at the back of the toilet.

Discovering the Arrest Warrant

On January 8, 2016, police responded to a call from a man, saying that he was locked out of his vehicle. When police got to the scene and checked the man’s driver’s license, they found that he had an arrest warrant with the Brooklyn police. They arrested him. He should have called a locksmith.

Stealing Botox

A woman got Botox done and then refused to pay the bill for the cosmetic procedure. Police was called to the scene and found out that this was not the first time that this 31 year old had done this. She had gone from one cosmetic clinic to the next to get Botox done. She had told the staff in the clinic -after the procedure was done – that she had to run to her car for her credit card to pay the bill and then twenty minutes later, they had discovered that she had not returned. At one time, she had paid one doctor with a $900 check, which later bounced. She was found and arrested for stealing Botox.

8 Memes That Accurately Describe How Your Adulthood is Going So Far

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Urban Superhero

Let’s face it. Adulting is hard. And you’re not always super great at it.

 

 

  • For That Time of the Month

 

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No, the OTHER worst time of the month. The one where you seriously consider living in a box.

 

  1. For When You Successfully Navigate a Minor Crisis

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You successfully realized that you needed to file your taxes… BEFORE they were due. You successfully avoided calling your coworker a “doody-head” out loud. Be proud. You adulted. And yes; it’s totally enough for one day. Mission accomplished.

 

  1. For Every Holiday Spent With Family

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjprpbv9cXKAhVEl4MKHUfzBsAQjRwICTAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fctgirlwiththeredscarf.com%2Ftag%2Ffeatured%2F&psig=AFQjCNHNo0fUPuKp9YxrtfQwzTVKQ7ALAg&ust=1453844210814451

 

The minute you’re deemed old enough to function (which is a lie) this question is the first thing you hear from your relatives at every Thanksgiving, Christmas, or reunion. To everyone’s Aunt Diane: we fully expect to die alone, surrounded by semi-feral cats, thanks.

 

  1. For When You Do Something Mildly Domestic

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Cleaned last week’s takeout from the fridge? Cooked a meal that was more complicated than punching buttons on the microwave? Finally made one thing from your Pinterest board? Time for a celebratory drink, you sexy homemaker, you.

 

  1. For Every Time Your Friends Cancelled Plans With You

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You both secretly wanted this. Let’s be honest… this is probably the reason why they cancelled in the first place. Being a sociable adult < hunkering down in your bed like a hibernating grizzly bear to bingewatch Netflix.

 

  1. For Any Time Something In Your Home Breaks

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Your computer is acting up. Push the power button a bunch? Your phone is being weird. Hope it stops being weird? Your car’s side-view mirror falls off. Did you really need it anyway?

 

  1. For Any Time You Spent Money On An Adult-y Thing Instead of Booze or Lattes

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Ugh. You had to buy a DISHRACK this week? Such a burden on your finances. That night out with your friends where you suddenly felt very generous and bought everyone shots? A necessary expense.

 

  1. For Any Time You Do Something Semi-Responsible

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It doesn’t take much. Maybe you did more than the bare minimum surface-clean of your apartment. Maybe you paid off a credit card. You did some serious adulting today. Well done. Time for a nap.

 

Funny 2016 State Of The Union Memes

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If you missed President Barack Obama’s final State of the Union address, then apparently you missed out on some hilarity as well. Social media websites, especially Twitter provided great commentary throughout the span of Obama’s speech. Although, probably not meant to be a humorous speech, the State of the Union address provided great laughs from almost everyone who watched.

 

Meme’s before the speech even took place

Before Obama even gave his final State of the Union speech, CNN published a video which recreated the State of the Union as a Wes Anderson film. Many viewers viewed the video as a fun way to lighten up his final address. Only about 4 minutes in length, you can view the video here. Shortly after the State of the Union address actually began, American’s took to Twitter, coming up with the hashtag #SOTU to give those who weren’t watching the speech a great view of all the fun stuff!

 

State of the Union Memes informative?

Now even though the State of the Union Memes were meant to be funny, they were actually pretty informative for those who missed the speech. They allowed people to know what was going, what was being said by the President, who was there, who looked bored out of their mind…you know , important stuff. Bustle.com provided a number of hilarious memes and here are some of our favorites.

 

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The tweet for this picture was: “When you slay your last #SOTU – this was Obama’s best speech since election night 2008 in Grant Park, Chicago.” – Basically showing Obama “got game”.

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“drink every time my mom or dad offers to “wipe that smirk off paul ryan’s face” #SOTU” – We can only imagine she is referring to that smirk which Paul Ryan, the Republican House Speaker of Wisconsin, had all night.

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“I want to be as cool as Joe Biden is when I grow up #sotu“- Just look at the face of the Vice President. Doesn’t he look like he would be a lot of fun to hang out with? No wonder this Twitter user wants to be cool like Joe Biden.
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“No matter if it’s republican or Democrat, I look @ these #sotu rebuttals like…“- Clearly this Twitter user is as unimpressed as Scooby and the gang.

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“Joe Biden looks at Obama the way that Kanye looks at Beyoncé #SOTU” – We all remember the VMA’s in 2009 when Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift, to announce how the award really should have went to Beyoncé? Kanye and Biden seem to have the same look, just for different people.

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“Soooo… Nancy Pelosi was using her Apple watch during #SOTU.”- Apparently Obama’s “brief speech” turned out to be a bit longer than anticipated. Even House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, seemed to have better ways to occupy her time. She kept checking her Apple watch throughout the speech…maybe she had more important messages to attend to?

 

Well overall, even with the hilarity the internet brought to a historical last State of the Union by President Obama, it was a speech with great values and insights.

 

Celebrities Who’ve Been Busted for Drugs

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Drugs are bad news. That may be something that everybody knows, but it’s definitely not something that everybody lives by. In fact, even some of the richest and most powerful people in the world- iconic celebrities- have gotten themselves in trouble with drugs in the past. Read on to learn about a few celebrities who’ve been busted for drugs, and learn from their bad example in the process!

Gregg Allman

You probably know Greg Allman as one of the members of The Allman Brothers Band. What you might not know, however, is that way back in 1976, he got arrested on federal drug charges. That’s some pretty serious stuff! However, he testified against others who were involved, which enabled him to avoid further criminal trouble, and has reportedly been sober since the 90s!

Mischa Barton

Mischa Barton rose to television stardom with her role on The O.C. However, her squeaky clean teen image came to an end when she got pulled over in 2007 and got caught with marijuana on her person. She was also under the influence of alcohol and had to pay a huge fine, do a few hours in jail, and also spend three years on probation.

Aaron Carter

Even cute little pop stars have been caught with drugs. Singer Aaron Carter, baby brother to Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys fame, got arrested in 2008 for drug possession. He had two ounces of marijuana on him at the time but has managed to avoid trouble since then.

Ray Charles

The legendary Ray Charles is most remembered for his insane musical talent, but he’s also had quite a few brushes with the law over drugs in his day. He was arrested in 1958, 1961, 1964, and 1965 all on drug charges. Heroin and marijuana were his drugs of choice, but fortunately, he was able to overcome his addiction later in life.

Paris Hilton

The lovely Paris Hilton has had her fair share of trouble too. The hotel heiress and reality television star got arrested in Las Vegas in 2010 for possession of cocaine. Her boyfriend at the time, Cy Waits, also got busted in the traffic stop for driving under the influence of marijuana, which Hilton was allegedly high on at the time too.

Macaulay Culkin

Say it isn’t so! The 90s star, best known for his role in the holiday classic Home Alone, got arrested in 2004. He was carrying 17 grams of marijuana on him and also had an illegal stash of Xanax. The star was able to avoid any serious criminal consequences by agreeing to go to counseling and get help for his drug problem.

Robert Downy Jr.

While some celebrities like to stay silent on their drug usage, superstar Robert Downy Jr. has been open about his drug problems and drug busts back in his younger days. Arrests have ranged from misdemeanor drug possession to driving under the influence. Fortunately, though, Downy Jr. eventually “woke up,” got help, and has been able to build a thriving career…clean!

As you can see, lots of celebrities have had their struggles with drugs in the past, but the lucky ones have overcome them.