Going Home

At the end of this week, I'll be going away with an empty duffel bag inside a semi-empty suitcase. I'll also have a shopping list. I still need to compile the shopping list to make sure I don't forget anything important like floss of an industrial strength that just doesn't seem to exist over here or deodorant that may be linked to an increase in some kinds of cancer but really keeps one's pits feeling clean (if not dry). And hairbands. Hairbands that are miraculously seamless. The kind over here all seem to require a bit of metal, which, while holding the elastic together also generally pulls out a few healthy strands of hairs.

Ow!

There's more, but I'm afraid of coming across as too materialistic or too dissatisfied with what I can't find here* or too much of a cliche -- which in fact is probably true, a cliche of the typical Brit who goes to America with an empty suitcase and a fistful of pounds -- too all of those things to continue with my list.

Oh! Mustn't forget the replacement for the one Dog ate!

I don't think you will notice I've gone away. I'll still be here, or so I think ... it's difficult to know exactly where I'll be.

While I'm away there will be some Big Events.

I will celebrate my 12th anniversary of lawful marriage to the Mista on the same day that I celebrate the 8th month anniversary of my emancipation from The Evil Fags. I will celebrate a birthday, and a brother's birthday.

While I'm away there will be some small events.

I will celebrate my mother's new hairstyle. She told me that everyone where I'm going tells her that she looks like Anderson Cooper.

I asked her who Anderson Cooper was.

She told me to look it up on The Internets.

So I did.

I was shocked by how masculine looking she must be after her recovery from the Party Crasher** and I told her so. "You look like a man?"

She laughed and corrected what everyone where I'm going says. "They say I look like Anderson Cooper, but they mean my hair looks like his hair."

"Ahhh." I gulp. I know she must look beautiful, my little mother who was always compared to Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O. My beautiful little mother with the flowing ebony hair now has a little shock of white, flecked with ebony remnants.

Before I go to celebrate big events and small happenings, I have a few things to do. I have to draft up the plant watering schedule for CBF, who will be house sitting. I have to print out my e-itinerary and rental car confirmation. I have to devise a plan to cover up my 3 week absence at work.

Of course, I also have to compile my shopping list.

*I am well aware that these things may be available here, but that I have not put the proper effort into my searches.
**Breast Cancer.