Just outside the newly renovated Brompton Road Sunglass Hut where I had just bought 2 new pairs of sunglasses after struggling with a decision between two, a teenage tourist from Spain? Italy? Greece? stops American Friend and me. Her father and brother wait behind her while she is tasked with showing off the results of high school English lessons.
Cowards.
“Where is iPod?” she asks.
Let me explain why this question didn't surprise me: the Apple Store on Regent Street is big and beautiful and neat; it’s a modern interior encased in a traditional shell; it’s streamlined and shiny; I imagine it attracts tourists even if it isn’t a tourist attraction in its own right.
Also, the previous day while walking The Dog, American Friend and I got talking with some young teenage British girls. They thought our accents were cool. They wanted to go to the USA so they could go to the iPod Store. That’s what they said: they wanted to go to the iPod Store. I wondered why they didn’t just go into town. A whole lot easier than going all the way to America.
In any event, given the exchange with the girls in the park, iPod was very much on my unconscious mind when the tourist of Mediterranean origin asked where she could find the iPod.
Let me add, I love giving directions. I know it’s dorky, but it makes me feel helpful and knowledgeable all in one go; and that makes me feel good. My Man hates it when people ask me directions. He rolls his eyes while I emancipate the über-dork within. “Oh, yes, so you go this way and then that way and be careful of the obstacle there and then you’ll just need to veer a little bit and you’ll see it on the right. Good luck!”
“Dork” My Man would utter.
On this occasion I try to contain my enthusiasm for direction giving. I explain that iPod is on Regent’s Street, which isn’t very close. At least an hour walk. I look at her dad and brother. Her father’s brow is furrowed. He seems dubious.
What does he know? He doesn’t even speak English.
I explain they’ll probably want to take the tube or bus. “The station is just up that way past Harrods and on the right.”
She looks confused, but I think she trusts me. With male kin in tow, she walks confidently in the direction I’ve indicated to get to the Knightsbridge tube station.
American Friend looks at me with her own look of confusion.
“But isn’t Hyde Park just over there?”
9 comments:
Probably Spanish! There's loads of 'em in London.
Get the same thing, but mine are always translations from Arabish or Englic (can never tell which). Doesn't matter whether spoken or written - at least with the former I can usually elicit sufficient additional information to work out what the hell they're on about.
I can't TELL you how many times I inadvertently gave the wrong directions to some poor, unsuspecting tourist. Not on purpose! Because I'm a dope! They all went home with a story about that son-of-a-bitch in New York City who sent them off on a wild goose chase. I apologize to all of you.
he he he... i bet the father is now questioning the value of all those english lessons he's been paying for! and now they'll all go home with tales about sadistic londoners who deliberately send tourists to the wrong place.
nr 10 bus does both
Ha--wonder how far they actually went. I'm pretty good and deciphering most accented English, but something about the language in Scotland is just incomprehensible to me. I might as well be in Russia.
Blues ~ Too true. I sometimes to try to practice my Spanish on them ... would probably end in the same result.
Chris ~ Ah, Arabic ... much more difficult than any of the romance languages with which I have dabbled.
UB ~ We have the best of intentions! :)
Mon ~ Oh, yes, I know! Those poor parents. Lessons just don't replace total immersion!
Rashbre ~ I think I've been on the 10 ... but not that well acquainted with it!
Franklin ~ Oh, yes, the ones from the North. Sometimes I swear I think I hear Portuguese spoken by construction workers on the street ... then I'll catch a whiff of an English world and realise how wrong I am!
Whahaha. I honestly didn't see that one coming. Wait ... are you originally from America?
Sid ~ I am. I am. I just became British this year.
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