Turkey Speaks to God

A couple of days ago I woke up to a word. One word, completely devoid of any context: ‘anachronistic’. I repeated it silently to myself over and over again. I couldn’t remember a dream that would have explained it; and it didn’t seem to fit with any of my waking-hour concerns. I like the word, though. It’s not a bad thing to wake up to.

Anachronistic.

This morning I awoke to a phrase, crooned into my mind’s ear by Mick Jagger.

‘Half of everything I own.’

Mick repeated it over and over again.

I remember a dream, but I don’t see how Mick or Some Girls figure in it.

It is the future, and I am with a group of people, none of whom I know. We are a small group, cut off from any other human activity. Something colossal and terrible has happened. I cannot recall if we are the only survivors of an apocalyptic event or if we are simply physically cut off from the rest of humanity. We are desperate for communication, and we have discovered a secret that will allow us to speak directly to God. There is some debate as to the exact nature of our anticipated communication with Our Lord in Heaven. Some of our group are certain we will actually be speaking with him; whereas others claim our interaction will be more like communing. I am not active in the debate; I am on the periphery. The fact that there is any debate at all makes me sceptical about the secret that we have discovered.

Will we really be speaking with God or will it be the trick of a charlatan?

Still I don’t think it will hurt to give it a go.

What harm can it do?

But the debate has turned; it seems the group has been reading my mind. Now part of the group fears the secret isn’t really the magic link to God we had thought, but rather the plot of a power seeking fraud. Unlike me, they think it’s fraught with risk. They are afraid that we will be captivated by the message and unable to discern its authenticity. In short, they are afraid we will have no choice but to believe. These are the naysayers. They cross their arms in disapproval and refuse to have anything more to do with the matter of the secret that will allow us to speak (or commune) directly with God.

That leaves the rest of us who are willing to carry-on with the scheme. We are the carry-on group. I am not fully of like mind with this group. They have already bought into the notion that the secret will put us in touch with the higher power. I have not. The secret tells us how to make the unworldly telephone line to God, and I find the recipe far-fetched. I am not one of these zealots. I am merely curious.

The carry-on group moves into action. We have to secure a turkey and some aluminium. If a turkey is not available, then we can fashion a giant turkey costume to be worn by one of the carry-on group. In either case, the turkey (or image of turkey) has to be plucked; its feet have to be tied with string; it needs to be nicely browned – in short it needs to look like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. We then need to mould aluminium antennae – Martian style with the balls on the end – and a long cord. The antennae will sit on the would-be-head of the turkey; the cord will dangle from its butt.

Where do we plug the cord into?

My dream ended just as one of the carry-on group, dressed up in the ridiculous turkey costume, started some kind of chant and dance. He or she looked ridiculous.

I woke up to Mick Jagger lamenting the possible loss of ½ of everything he owns.